Tag Archives: neshama

Kindling the Lights of Peace: A Meditation for Shabbat Candle-Lighting

Shabbat Candles

It is rare that I write the words I plan to speak during Shabbat worship at my congregation – Beth Israel in Florence, SC. In any case, even if I knew the words in advance, I would typically wait to post my remarks until after the Sabbath was over. However, this week feels different: I wanted to share this meditation before Friday night, that others might use it, if they so wish, when they light the candles for Shabbat.

After lighting the Sabbath candles,
many people wave their hands in a circular motion three times
and bring their hands to their face when finished.
A beautiful interpretation of this practice
is that it helps us bring
the light and peace of Shabbat
into our neshamas (our souls), our homes,
and our families.

Most weeks, I appreciate this personal practice.
But this week feels different.

These past weeks have marked
the beginning and escalation
of the conflict in Israel and Gaza,
the terrors of ISIS in Iraq and Syria,
and the outpouring of unaccompanied minors in America –
refugee children from Central America –
escaping violence and hunger.

In ancient times when our ancestors suffered in Egypt,
their cries reached the highest of heavens.
Even when we differ as to the political solutions to these crises,
is it not true that these cries have reached us as well?
Do they not circle ‘round the world and pierce our hearts?

Do we not hear the cries from bloodshed and violence;
hatred and fanaticism; hopelessness and intolerance?

Have we not had enough?
(Ever mindful that we who have had enough
are mere onlookers, opining in the comfort
of our living rooms!)

Oseh Shalom
You are the Maker of Peace.
Why is it that you don’t make peace here on earth?

Shalom Rav
You are the God of Peace.
Place Your Great Peace
Upon Your children
Upon the world, our world, Your world!

I’m not an expert at peace-making.
I simply know that what has been,
has not been sufficient.
And that what will yet be
must be, need be, demands
something different.

It is not enough to send the light from the candles
into my neshama alone this week.
Not enough at all.

This week, I propose that as we kindle the lights,
all of us present (not only those lighting the candles)
take our hands and circle them
such that even as we bring the light into our neshamas,
we also send it out into the world –
out into this room, into this town, and beyond.

I pray that the light and peace of Shabbat
meet those cries that are circling ‘round this world;
that it meet those cries with open heart.

I know that such an action cannot alone bring peace.
But I know that without an open heart,
without the care and concern
of people all around the world,
without attention and love
there will be no peace.

We are taught that the Sabbath
is the great symbol of and teacher of peace.
These lights we kindle carry its promise.
I don’t know how peace will come.
But I know that it must yet be:

“Let it come
like wildflowers,
suddenly, because the field
must have it: wildpeace.”
– Yehuda Amichai

The Secret Shabbat Blessing

When I was an Assistant Rabbi, I would celebrate with the Early Childhood Program at their weekly Shabbat Party. A few parents would join their children for the festivities, and they would be invited to stay behind for a few moments with the rabbi.

The parents and students would gather with me in the front of the chapel, by the Aron (the ark that houses the Torah scrolls). Then came my favorite part of the morning:  I would instruct the parents to hold their children close, maybe even place a hand on their children’s head or shoulders. I explained to the parents that it is customary for parents to bless their children on Friday evening, often right after the candles are lit. I taught them the words of the traditional blessing.

I then asked them to whisper a “secret Shabbat blessing” into their children’s ear.  To go beyond the words on the page and find the blessing in their heart. The preschoolers kept wiggling and squirming, but the room became filled with laughter and smiles and indescribable sounds of happiness.

How often do we tell the people in our lives that we love them? And more than that, share with them how they are special to us?

This, in and of itself, is reason enough to bless each other. But there is another reason I think it important for parents to offer a “secret Shabbat blessing” of their own.  We may be used to giving compliments. “That’s a beautiful shiny bow you are wearing.” “You sat so quietly today.” “I like the truck on your T-shirt.” While a compliment is a form of praise, most only touch the surface. A blessing, on the other hand, connects us to something deeper – to who we really are.

We can bless our children for so many reasons. A (very) partial list might include:

  • because they tried their best (even if it didn’t work out)
  • because they worked hard and did better the next time
  • because they learned something new
  • because they acted as a good friend (sibling, helper)
  • because they were kind
  • because they were brave
  • because they shared (even when it was hard)
  • because they demonstrated a wonderful sense of humor
  • because they were a team player
  • because they were honest (even when it came at a cost)
  • because they asked a good question
  • because they learned how to make good choices

When we offer our children their own Shabbat blessing, one tailored just for them – based upon how we have seem them grow and learn and live in the past week – we show them that we notice them, we demonstrate that we value them, and we teach them that we love them for their successes and struggles and, indeed, their entire being, not just what shows up on the surface.

We teach them that we want them to grow up to be menschen (people of integrity and honor) and that we are there for them on that journey.

In essence, we teach them that they are loved and blessed because they have a beautiful neshama, a beautiful soul and spirit. That the Source of Life and Blessing flows through them – their breath, their life, their actions. That they are a gift from God.

This post also appears at ReformJudaism.org.